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Celebrate Festivals, Celebrate Life and Create Memories!

 

This evening, I saw placards in the hands of kids instead of crackers. The messages were ‘Save Earth’, ‘Say No to Crackers’ and the like.

Disappointing, very disappointing!

At this rate, the only childhood memory that kids will have is spending time on their screens, phones & tablets! When they reminisce about childhood after growing up, what will they talk about – Tablets, phones and apps?

Not fair – we, the grown-ups have ruined the Earth for them and we expect them to take the so called ‘corrective steps’.

 

  • Will all of us stop using our cars?
  • Will we stop using leather, plastics, CFCs?
  • Will be cease our ubiquitous constructions and create more playgrounds?
  • Will we spend more time with loved ones?
  • Will we reduce our air travel to create less of a carbon footprint?
  • Will be reduce tuitions and ‘special’ classes?
  • Will we allow every kid to pursue their real interests?
  • Will we stop consuming or working for these global brands that are polluting our ground waters 

NO, right?

 

 

Just one day in the year when we get to burst crackers, and it is a no-no citing ‘Saving the Earth’! What about the torture reaped on Mother Earth on the other 364 days?

Already ‘Mithai’ has been replaced by ‘Chocolates’, ‘Motherly Love’ by so called ‘Aaya’s Love’, ‘Lighting Lamps’ replaced by ‘Switching on bulbs and candles’, ‘Rituals’ replaced by ‘Lethargy’.

So, what is left to take away from them? What experiences are we leaving for our kids? We are literally snatching ‘The Essence of Childhood’ from them!

Like an array of lamps creating a beautiful image, let us create a string of wonderful memories for our kids that would make for a great life! 🙂

Celebrate Festivals, Celebrate Life & Create Memories!!

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s day is a day dedicated to love!
The best part is – this isn’t restricted just to the love in couples. This day denotes love which can be for anyone, mother, father, friend, beloved, even humanity wala love, love towards pets and nature …any kind of love!
Love makes the world go around and this day is there for us to pause and realise!
Life sometimes makes us so busy that we forget to smell the roses – inhale those beauties today! We put off letting people know how much we appreciate their roles in our life – today, take a minute to drop that note or make a quick call!
Let there be love in the interactions, the smiles, the gestures and in each relationship.

Life is a Roller Coaster!

Life is a Roller Coaster!
You will have your ups, you will have your downs, sometimes you will be flowing freely and other times you would be upside down!
Make sure not to close your eyes and miss out the beautiful views! So, enjoy the ride while it last! Live it to the Fullest!

Life has a Meaning… When you Live for Others!

Looking at the mighty oak tree, one would doubt that it was once just a small seed that decided to open up.
Beautiful lines that I came across recently…
मिटा दे अपनी हस्ती को गर कुछ मर्तबा  चाहिए
कि दाना खाक में मिलकर, गुले-गुलजार होता है! 
Each seed sacrifices its shell to become a plant that will spawn hundreds of seeds in the future, thus ensuring a larger than life presence. This is very true in case of humans as well, where a simple act of kindness done out of turn has the propensity to trigger an avalanche of kindness activities!
Like a home maker dedicating herself for the betterment of the family or a dedicated teacher motivating hundreds of students to make their futures bright, a hard working cook spending hours in the heat and grime of the kitchen to ensure people don’t go hungry, or the soldier at the border dedicating himself for the sake of the nation. All these individuals, in one way or the other, have sacrificed themselves for the greater good.
Though there is learning when you live for yourself, but life has a meaning when you live for others!

Change Happen When You Change!

To achieve great things, you must be ready to upgrade the current you to a new version, for Change happen when you Change! 
We always use the phrases – a new me, a new year, a new way of life and so on. Holding onto the old selves may not prove to be the ideal way for someone wishing to change. Just as the farmland has to be cleared to make way for the new crop to be sown, we will have to step out of our comfort zones and destroy the old self to become a new person. The old habits and the old behaviour will do little to enable a new way of life.
Change happens when you change! 
If you are not happy with your job, work on your resume and start looking for a different job. If you are not happy in your relationship, come out of it and start living for yourself! If you are not happy with your current house, decorate it, change it, give it a new shape!
If you are going through tough time, step out, meet people, travel, experience, no body can change it for you! You are the one who has to take the right step to make your life better!
You are the one to make change happen!
Change starts with us, when we start to change!
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What can a 50-day pup teach you?

What can a 50-day pup teach you?

 

Behave as if you own the place!

Laila went around the house sniffing her way through. Pausing every now and then to wag her tail and look back at us. If she had known the metric units, I am sure she could have given the dimensions of our house! Once she completed this complete survey, she then took the air of the mistress of the house and would strut proudly with her chest out! Every object in the house was now hers and we had to get her permission to take it back from her. And yes, anything that fell to the floor was her property first!

 

 

Love is unconditional:

 

We had no expectations except companionship. The poo-picking, the pee-wiping and regular feeding were actually chores that we did not have a problem with at all! With her tail wagging nineteen to the dozen, she would warmly welcome us at the doorstep, though we had left her alone for 3-4 hours. She would patiently follow us through the house, always at the heels without asking for anything. She would bite my saree just to grab my attention when I used to get busy with my work. She cuddled next to us for going to sleep and licked us until we rolled in laughter from the tickles we got!

 

 

 

 

Maintain time!

Though a pup, she was easy to potty train. Poo/peeing on the furniture was a strict no-no and the balcony was the spot for her biological waste. She developed this alarm system of wriggling her body followed by a short nose based search and a short shrill bark – that meant we had to let her down. If she was on the ground, she needed no prodding and used to go about her business (except when it was too cold!). The best part was the regularity established. She had to have her Cerelac Stage 1 by 7:00 AM, followed by meals at 10:30 AM, 2:00 PM, 5:30 PM, 9:00 PM. If we ran late, we were reminded neatly by her strutting to the kitchen and back and the quick nips on our ankles and toes! If she wanted to pee/poop in the middle of the night, she just used to wriggle against us and whine a bit so that we woke up and let us down. Once done, she used to stand on her hind legs and give us a bark to ensure we lifted her onto the bed.

 

When you are teething, the whole world is a teether!

Be it the wooden legs of a stool, or my new Levi’s, or the chew toys or even our fingers and toes, Laila used every option to better her tooth growth. Every opportunity was utilized to grow. The more the variety, the faster the experience and the growth.

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Physical Accidents vs. Emotional Accidents

Emotional Vs Physical accidents!
A limp, a fractured arm, a band-aid here and a bruise there – typical indicators of an accident. We all have met with such accidents (of varying degrees!) at one point or another in our life.
Pausing to think, are physical accidents the only ones? What about the sinking feeling in our hearts, what about the feeling where the whole world seems to be coming crashing down while you stand? They certainly make the case for what I would term as Emotional Accidents.
Points of comparison between Physical and Emotional Accidents:
1. No visible scars in Emotional Accidents – a swollen eye and a drooping body language may be the only tell tale signs
2. While physical accidents may involve strangers or unfamiliar places, the emotional accidents are predominantly from the known individuals – death of a beloved person, departure of a loved one, the back-stabbing from a trusted one. All these cut deeper.
3. Some physical accidents heal quickly while others take time and may leave no traces. Some may even have an impact for life like a permanent limp or a scar. Emotional accidents keep churning you from inside based on their severity. You may be distracted momentarily, but when the right time strikes, prepare to be deluged by thoughts if you are weak, leading to additional cycles if depression and self-doubt.
4. You may not even realise when an emotional accident happens. For example, you may have your dreams and ideas shot down as people around you are not able to identify with them. The effects unfold in the form of low self-esteem, reduced confidence and self-doubt.
The best part of emotional accidents is that you can identify them, and the moment you start realising that you are in such a situation, you can consciously control it and greatly dampen the effect.
You must have heard old people saying that fever is good because it will improve your immunity. Similarly, every emotional accident will contribute towards your EQ.
(D)iversion, (E)xpression, (A)cceptance and (L)ove – DEAL is the way to Deal with it!
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The Touches that matter – Educate your kids!

The warmth of the mother as she lovingly embraces you, the pat of an appreciative father, the hand-holding by siblings when you are going to the cross the road, the friendly hugs from friends during play and celebrations – all these are etched in mind forever. The friendly neighborhood uncle who used to touch you down there citing he was checking something, the cousin who used to kiss you citing teaching what people do and the teacher who fondled and pinched you inappropriately under the guise of punishing you – these touches too are etched in memory. The difference – while you yearn for more touch in the former set, you shudder and shrink inside when you think of the latter set.You withdraw more into a shell and start looking at a majority of touches as ‘bad’ and have trouble trusting individuals of a similar profile.

 

Recently, in one of my sessions, we explored the topic of the Good Touch and the Bad Touch. When the presentation and the short film were over you could see a lot of moist eyes in the audience.Parents and teachers nodded appreciatively in understanding the challenges and realising the need for educating their kids at home as well. You might recollect and shudder, how many times we have left our kids in the hands of strangers, in the hands of relatives and in the hands of doctors and maid servants. The Delaware paediatrician who was arrested on account of more than 1000+ counts of molestation and rape, the church dignitaries alleged of sodomising young boys, the #MeToo campaign that had so many real life accounts of relatives, family and strangers employing the bad touch should be grim reminders of how serious the issue is really and why is the education important.

 

 

I noticed one girl, probably a ninth grader, shedding tears as the movie went on. When asked in front of the audience, she remarked “I have a friend who underwent a traumatic experience of this nature, i totally feel for her”. The principal, students and the staff seemed to be happy at this answer and went on to other topics after consoling her. I, however, had my own doubts.

 

 

I met her after the session and called her aside. I asked her – “was it you or was it really a friend that you spoke about?”. She broke down again inconsolable and narrated her ordeal during her 4th and 5th grades when a neighbour used to call her over on one pretext or another and took advantage. She had never mentioned this to anyone else for fear of being punished by the friendly neighbour an impacting relations. When she used to see that her family members were very close to the person, she thought she may have been mistaken and he wouldn’t do anything bad as her parents wouldn’t have allowed it. After sometime, she realised the futility of thoughts and started staying away.

 

Now, she has isolated herself, rarely goes outside to play, hates mingling with new people and shudders at the very mention of that individual. Imagine, a girl who should be playing happily, making new friends, discussing exciting career options and seeing the world is now confined to the corners of her house just because of one man’s lechery. It is going to take a fair amount of counselling to get her out of her shell, and to set her life on the path to normalcy. But yes, we will achieve it.

 

 

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The Most Important Promise to Keep is the One We do to Our Own Selves!

The only promise that you should not break is the one you make with yourself!

We are all born equal. Our decisions in life have led to where we are today. We have always promised ourselves that we will be the best version of ourselves, no matter what. Then, why are we so ready to compromise our integrity and self-worth by,


– Being in a job that we hate or by being in a relationship that does not allow you to grow and be yourself
– Working under a supervisor who doesn’t give you due credit and rather is using you
– Working in an organisation that is not all white and everyday you are put in situations where your principles are challenged
– Working in an organisation where mediocrity and sycophancy are worshipped
– By promising ourselves that we will change and yet are caught in the cycle of monthly salary and dependency
– By not utilising our innate and acquired skills
– By making others wealthy wherein we could have established our own empires

– By helping others more than how we help ourselves

Let us take an example, you commit to yourself about writing that brilliant article that you wanted. You want to complete that today and you have sufficient time. Suddenly you get a call from your friend asking you to join in a party that he/she is hosting. You may go citing friendship as the reason, but at the end of the day, your article is not written. No one else but you are impacted. Your friendship is ‘strengthened’ you may say, but friendships that hinge on such weak principles – are they worth it?

You promise yourself that this weekend you will treat yourself and your spouse to that day trip that you have planned for months. Suddenly on Friday evening, your boss calls you and asks you to be in office to complete some work that had been unattended to so far. It was a pure mistake from your boss’ end and it was his inefficiency for not having completed the task earlier. You go to office citing ‘work is important’. But is a mistake of someone else worth your personal time?

If we continuously lie to ourselves and degrade ourselves – things are going to take a downward spiral very soon.
While you were busy pleasing the world, the world moves on leaving you in the lurch!

 

 

Take a hint from the king of Bollywood!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep your promises with yourself – it would be the best investment that you did any day.

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Connect & Share!

Today, whenever we want to know about something, all we do is take our device (mobile, desktop, laptop..) and open google. We enter our search term and voila! we obtain the information we seek from so many sources!

All this happens in a matter of seconds! We learn from unknown individuals who have shared their knowledge for the world to learn!

So, how did the internet come to being? In the 1950, when the electronic computers started getting into the picture, individuals started creating more and more information on their system. But, they could not share the knowledge! Then they started connecting the systems – one computer at a time to create a network of computers that could freely exchange information. Houses, districts, cities, countries and finally continents – today you have the complete world connected!

 

In today’s knowledge based economy, information is the currency – by helping others learn, we learn along with them as well. From the simplest of words to mathematics and general knowledge, by sharing we all learn more!

Every one of us has the ability to teach. Each one of us has the ability to make an individual understand the concepts and information that we know.

Each one of us is a teacher as well as student all through our lives.

Everyday, we learn something new. Sometimes it is on relationships, sometimes on manners, sometimes on communication, sometimes about the world, sometimes about technology and so on. The moment you start teaching or explaining the concepts to someone else, you will see that you are getting much stronger in that concept and you acquire a deeper level of knowledge.

It is said that – “If you can simplify the concept so that your 90 years old grandma can understand it, then you have truly mastered it!”

So, don’t be afraid – teach the world what best you know and receive with open arms, all that the world has to teach you!